We were several weeks deep in trading illnesses back and forth between the five of us. My skin was burning and itching with a severe flare-up of psoriasis. We’d just been blindsided with unexpected health news, and the next steps felt unclear.
The thought came that may be slipping under the bathwater would be easier than all of this.
Then I heard these words…
I had been writing for weeks. Exploring the words that had suddenly begun flowing through me.
In a time of feeling emotionally and physically maxed out, writing was giving me life. It didn’t feel so overwhelming when I could see the thoughts in black and white instead of swirling around my mind.
I was tired of feeling alone when surrounded by people. I was desperate for deeper connections.
What I’m hoping to achieve.
My hope in sharing is that I will find my people, the ones who seek to understand. The ones who view their struggles as vessels to their growth. The ones who support and cheer on others as they explore their passions.
I want my kids to see me as more than just their mother. I want them to see me as a woman, who maybe didn’t always get it right, but who worked her hardest to create a life we could 𝐚𝐥𝐥 thrive in.
I need to show myself and my family that I can chase a passionate life and still be present for them. I want so badly to give my kids a childhood filled with magic. I’ve come to understand I can’t sacrifice myself to do it.
Answering the Call
Those words from Supertramp spoke to my soul. They allowed me to push “share” and expose myself to you. They gave me the courage to ignore the critics.
I am exploring, listening and learning. I don’t know where I will land, but I can’t wait to discover the places and people this journey will bring my way.
Thank you for reading and sharing this adventure.
Originally posted to Instagram Oct 2,2019.