christine coughlin sitting at a bistro table looking thoughtful

8 Ways to Deal with the Haters


Christine Coughlin

Relationships, Wellness

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Hello, ladies! Are you tired of playing small and catering to the haters? Are you ready to take up space, speak your mind, and dream out loud? Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to empower you to live your best life and give you eight ways to deal with the haters.

For WAY too long, I played small in my life for fear of making other people uncomfortable or giving the haters more to talk about. God forbid someone thought I was a cliche, and don’t even get me started on the thought of being misunderstood; that just made me feel sick to my stomach.

christine coughlin sitting at a bistro table looking thoughtful

So let’s get one thing straight. Haters gonna hate. It’s just a fact of life. But that doesn’t mean you have to let them get you down. Here are eight ways to deal with haters and live your best life.

8 Ways to Deal with the Haters

Grey Rock Them

If your hater is close to you, keep all interactions as bland and non-responsive as possible. Keep your answers short, non-emotional and don’t give them any information they can feed off of. Not engaging with your hater shows them they aren’t worth your time or energy.

Clear the Air

If your hater is important in your life, clearing the air is a surefire way to get things out in the open. It is possible the hater isn’t even aware of their impact on you. With a heart-to-heart, you can get to the root of the issue and decide how to move forward once everything is on the table.

Use It As Fuel

Nothing makes me want to succeed more than people talking shit about me or doubting my abilities. I mean, we must be pretty interested if our existence is threatening to others. Consider it a compliment, and keep crushing those goals.

“When they go low, we go high.”

Michelle Obama

Get Comfortable with Being Misunderstood

It isn’t easy to be misunderstood, especially when we’re socialized to prioritize the needs and feelings of others. Still, we don’t have control over how others perceive us, and it’s not our business what they think of us. Our job is to stay true to ourselves and our values and not rely on external validation.

(This is a toughie, I know; as a recovering people pleaser, I’m putting this one in the inspirational category.😅)

Have Compassion

Women and girls aren’t always taught how to be happy for other women. They may have seen jealousy and rumour spreading modelled in their homes and don’t know any better. It’s essential to protect yourself from negativity, but I also don’t believe in “cancelling people”; instead, create distance and allow them space to grow.

I highly recommend Oprah’s book called, “What Happened to You? – Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing.

You can find it here:
What Happened to You?- Hardcover
What Happened to You?- Paperback

Be the Change you Want to See

If we want a different environment for our daughter, they need to see us navigating female relationships healthily. When you feel catty or threatened, get curious and honest with yourself. The feelings are natural, but make sure your actions are intentional. 💕

Stand Up For Yourself

If someone is crossing a line and being rude, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Let them know their behaviour is unacceptable, and you won’t tolerate it.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The best way to deal with haters is not to give them any power in the first place. Surround yourself with people who assume the best of you and want to see you succeed. This will help you stay positive and focused on your goals.

So there you have it, ladies—eight ways to deal with haters and live your best life. Remember, you are strong, capable, and deserving of success. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I’d love to hear which of these strategies you plan to try first in the comments 👇🏻

xx C

About the Author

Christine Coughlin blogger and writer
Christine Coughlin

Christine lives on the West Coast of Canada with her husband, their three kids and approximately one million plant babies.

She is the creator of the Rise & Monetize Creator Summit and the co-founder of YVR Moms Creative. Christine is passionate about female empowerment and advocating for maternal mental health. She loves all adventures on the water or in the forest and connecting with other open-hearted, lifelong learners.

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